By the time I got to the in-laws’ house to watch the election, it was pretty much over. At 8PM, the polls closed in California, and before there was a chance for a final count to even be procured, the results were announced: Barack Obama would be the first African American president of the United States of America.
I wasn’t surprised that Obama had won, and I hadn’t been worried about him losing. The night before the election, I had told my husband that if he were to lose, the country would spiral into a Great Depression, and not just one of the financial sort we were already experiencing. After all, he was doing well in the polls, he was an inspirational figure in an extremely dark time, and his platform was built on hope, dreams, and change. For all of the people who had given what little time and money they had in hopes of fulfilling their own shared dreams of change, only to witness such a great loss… well, hearing the “yes, we can!” turn into “no, we can’t.” would just be defeating the defeated and invalidating hope, dreams, and change.
And, on that election night, roughly 40 years after the civil rights movement led by Martin Luther King, Jr., the majority of American people finally spoke up to say that, no, human rights were not specific to any one color.
As the television broadcast the loud triumphant cheers of victory, and the streaming tears of joy, I was anxiously checking my phone for the results of a different kind of change, a different kind of proof that human rights were not exclusive to certain humans.
But, I was disappointed, I was wrong and my theory had been disproved. At the same time a majority of America had voted against racism, the majority of California had voted for homophobia and sexism. In exchange for a step forward, we had taken two steps back.
No, human rights knew no color, but they still knew a gender, and marriage only knew heterosexual love.
I couldn’t believe it, or rather, I didn’t want to.
On November 16th, 2007, I married the one I consider, without even the slightest shred or sliver of doubt, my soulmate. The one who incites a conviction in true love I never thought I would or could have. I was lucky enough to find something that so many want and so few get, and apparently, I was even luckier we happened to be of the right genders. On that day, we were declared man and wife, but had the circumstances been different, we would’ve never been married; we would never have been declared woman and wife, man and husband.
I can’t understand how someone could walk into their assigned polling place, and on the same ballot that they proudly cast their vote for the first African American president, they cast the vote that those of the same gender should be denied the right, or better said, the privilege, of marriage.. of having the state of California acknowledge the love between those who were lucky enough to have found what I have found, their soulmate, only because said soulmate happened to share the same gender.
I’m trying to remain optimistic, but it’s hard. I started writing this shortly after that fateful night, and have written and re-written it 4 times (I have had various problems during the process of posting it). Since then, things have in fact changed, almost to a point where I’ve wondered if it even was worth re-writing this a 5th time.. if it had lost some of its relevance.
However, I believe that this night — the night of Martin Luther King, Jr. day, the eve of Obama’s inauguration — the relevance of these words has been strengthened.
Martin Luther King, Jr. was my childhood hero. I loved reading the books about him that my mother bought me from the Scholastic Book catalogs they handed out at school. Although I have learned that its accuracy has since been questioned, I always have loved the story of his father’s response when he was referred to as “boy” in front of a young Martin Luther King, Jr.
I didn’t understand racism then, any more than I understand homophobia now, but I’m trying my best to derive hope from his dream tonight, and how an African American man who ran on a platform of change, hope, and dreams is being sworn into office tomorrow.
No, California won’t recognize the marriage between two people of the wrong genders today, but America wouldn’t have elected a person of the wrong color 40 years ago either.
Here’s to hope, change, dreams, and for Obama to have the ability to actually, truly, practice what he preaches, without discrimination of any kind.
